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Of special interest to most all parents, once the child is born, is how to go about training. There are at least two key features of Cayce's approach. First, to train by precept-principles you tell the child-and example-principals you live as a demonstration.
Second, parents must show their children how to make decisions and evaluate things. The emphasis should be upon the Christ as the standard the child will try to use in judgments and dealings "with every problem, good, bad or indifferent, that arises within his experience," says Cayce (Reading No. 1125-3).
Of course, in the training process it is important not to break the will of the child. A helpful technique in this regard is to say "do" as frequently as possible instead of "do not:" Presumably this would mean that if your child were doing something you did not like, you should correct it Want him to do rather than focusing on what it is you do not want him to do. There are, no doubt, instances to which this principle is hard to apply; But as an ideal to work towards, it is helpful in child-training.
The statements also warn against coercing issues. To do so is to slowly break the will of the child, a matter probably far more serious in the long run than the issue being disputed. The readings do suggest the use of discipline, although the cases we have are individual ones and we must remember that each child has unique needs. The following passage is a good example of Cayce's advice regarding discipline:
Q-5. Often will have to tell her [ten-year-old daughter] the same thing two, three, four, six times before she pays any attention to what you are correcting her for. Is that inattention, stubbornness, or what?
A-5. DO NOT make so many corrections! Make it once and then let it pay the price for same! Not in punishments as in bodily punishments, but rather the denial of things that are liked!
Reading No. 608-10
In another example regarding whether or not to discipline a 12-year-old son about homework, Cayce said, "If you make a game of it, it's very well! If you make it a burden, it's not so good!" (Reading No. 1519-4) We should not need to take this as universal advice for subordinate homework supplements, but rather look at the principle. A playful or light-hearted approach to parenting is often more persuasive than a heavy-handed one.
Another form of training is sex education. This should begin early according to the readings, well before teenage years. Parents are encouraged to teach children the beauty of their sex and specifically the care of the body. The statements say that awareness of sex difference begins very young, in the vicinity of two-and-a-half to three years old.
Nature is one avenue that can be used both for sex education and spiritual training. The parent was told that nature was the best way to explain God to a child under 12 years old. The point here is to show the child how each portion of nature is an expression of God in His activity.
Of course, the Bible is also recommended in child training. Interestingly, the statements say to particularly focus on the stories of Jesus as a child and the way Jesus treated children during His ministry. The goal of spiritual training of the child is this: "Put [spiritual truths] in the hearts of thy children, that when they sit at meat [ie, mealtime], or when they rise to play, those tenets of the living God will Be in their thoughts by night and by day. " (Reading No. 2118-1)
Although spiritual training should begin quite early, the readings identify the period from about ages 11 to 16 as particularly critical ones in the formation of ideals, which are likely to be a guiding influence for the rest of the lifetime. Not only are ideals formed during these years, but two other important things take place: the endocrine gland changes of puberty and the tension for doubts to arise in the young person's mind.
This second item should be carefully considered by parents. The adolescent is putting away childhood and beginning to form a separate identity. A natural part of that process is to doubt the claims that have been held during childhood.
In many cases, considerable challenges can arise when the adolescent begins to doubt just how wise the parents really are or to what extent they should make all the decisions. Neverheless, the most unsettling doubts are those which the adolescent has about himself-questions of self-worth. In this regard parents can be of great help, especially with consistent support and encouragement, no matter how obnoxious teenagers can become.
During the teenage years the Bible is still to be an important tool for spiritual training. Cayce's statements suggest that for this age group, Bible study can focus on examination of Biblical characters, in terms of their virtues and faults. In other words, seeing the humanness of these people who tried to follow God's way can help the adolescent deal with conflicting self-images. This is also the first age group for which the readings specifically mention working with meditation.
This commentary is taken from the Circulating File titled "Advice to Parents."
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